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It’s not uncommon for BPD rage to feel as though it comes out of nowhere. However, often, it’s linked to deeper, underlying emotional pain, fears of abandonment, or a sense of invalidation. The first step in managing this rage is recognising what triggers it.
Tip: Spend some time reflecting on the situations that spark your anger. Are there patterns? Recognising these emotional patterns is key to gaining control over your reactions.
For example, if feelings of rejection tend to spark your anger, identifying this can help you better prepare and manage those moments in the future.
When rage takes over, it can feel all-encompassing, pulling you away from the present moment. Grounding techniques are designed to bring your mind and body back into the now, helping to prevent emotions from escalating further.
Try this grounding exercise: Look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This exercise helps anchor you in the present, providing a momentary break from the overwhelming emotions.
Sometimes, rage needs to be released physically. However, finding safe outlets for that energy is crucial. The aim is to prevent harm to yourself or others while still allowing that pent-up energy to escape.
Safe physical outlets include:
- Punching a pillow or soft object
- Going for a run or intense workout
- Screaming into a pillow
These activities give you a healthy way to discharge that built-up energy without doing any damage.
Physical release isn’t the only way to handle anger. Sometimes, creative expression can serve as a powerful outlet. Writing, drawing, or painting your feelings allows you to process emotions in a productive way.
Creative expression ideas:
- Write about what made you angry and how it feels
- Draw or paint your emotions, even if it’s just abstract scribbles
The important thing is not the quality of the art, but the process of getting those feelings out of your system.
While grounding and physical release help your body, calming techniques can help soothe the mind. Breathing exercises are a particularly effective way to reduce emotional intensity.
Try this breathing technique: Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and then breathe out for 8 counts. Repeat this cycle until you start to feel more centred and in control of your thoughts.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is talk it out. Whether it’s with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, reaching out for support can make a huge difference. Not only does talking about your feelings give them a release, but it also helps you gain a fresh perspective.
Who can you talk to? Consider creating a support system of people you trust. These are individuals who understand what you’re going through and can help you find ways to cope in the moment.
There will be times when everything feels overwhelming, and it seems like nothing is working. During these moments, it’s okay to take a step back and give yourself space. Finding a quiet spot to gather your thoughts can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret later.
Remember: You don’t have to solve everything in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, a break is all you need to regain clarity and control.
Living with BPD can be incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to managing intense emotions like rage. However, by understanding your triggers, using grounding techniques, finding safe physical and creative outlets, and reaching out for support when needed, you can build a toolkit that helps you regain control over your emotions.
Remember, it’s okay to take time for yourself, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.
Divorce can be a difficult experience for children, even when it happens without major conflict or violence.
While many assume that a peaceful separation causes less harm, even amicable divorces can have lasting effects on a child’s mental health.
In this article, we explore how children and teenagers process this change and the potential impact it can have in their later lives.
During childhood, the divorce of parents can evoke feelings of loss, confusion, and sadness, even in cases where the separation is handled calmly. Children might not always express these emotions outwardly, but the sudden change in their family dynamic can deeply affect their sense of security.
One key aspect is attachment and trust. Even without visible conflict, children may develop fears about losing other relationships in their lives. This can lead to difficulties trusting others or forming strong bonds, sometimes resulting in anxiety around friendships or romantic relationships as they grow older.
Additionally, the emotional stress of divorce can influence academic performance. Many children find it difficult to concentrate at school when faced with such a significant change at home. Although the home environment remains stable, the internal emotional struggle can affect their motivation and ability to focus.
Despite these challenges, there’s also the potential for resilience development. When parents manage the situation with open communication and a supportive attitude, children may learn to cope better with adversity. Being able to navigate such a complex situation can help them build strong emotional tools and a deeper understanding of change.
As adults, individuals who experienced their parents’ divorce during childhood might carry those effects into their own relationships.
Many may approach romantic relationships with greater caution, fearing commitment or developing anxieties about the potential for instability.
It’s also worth noting that mental health risks in adulthood are slightly higher for those who experienced parental divorce, even when it was amicable. Issues like anxiety or depression might not appear immediately but can resurface later as the individual reflects on their childhood experiences.
However, the long-term impact greatly depends on how well parents manage the divorce. If the environment remains supportive, open, and stable, children can grow into adults with strong coping mechanisms, reducing the likelihood of lasting negative effects.
In the end, while an amicable divorce can still affect children’s mental health, positive parental involvement can make all the difference in helping them grow and thrive.
For 20 years, I served as a police officer, starting in frontline response before moving into a specialist support unit handling violent incidents, public order, and body recovery. The relentless exposure to trauma took a toll, leading to PTSD, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.
One of the most traumatic experiences was responding to a major motorway crash on the M5, where bodies and body parts were scattered across the scene. Another was recovering the burned remains of two elderly victims from a vehicle fire. These incidents—combined with the high-pressure, toxic culture of policing—pushed me towards a mental health breakdown.
At first, I didn’t realise what was happening. Anger, irritability, and dissociation became part of my daily life. I struggled with simple tasks like cooking meals and found myself avoiding crowded places due to panic attacks.
When I finally sought help, I was offered basic “lifestyle advice”—journal, exercise, eat well—but nothing truly addressed the deep trauma I was experiencing. The lack of effective PTSD support for emergency responders left me feeling lost.
Everything changed when I met Rio, my PTSD assistance dog, through Service Dogs UK. Rio had already been through 11 different homes by the time we were paired. Together, we trained and built an incredible bond. He now:
✅ Detects my PTSD symptoms before I do
✅ Wakes me from nightmares
✅ Guides me out of overwhelming situations
✅ Provides emotional support during panic attacks
Rio was the lifeline I needed, but I quickly realised that thousands of others were struggling without the right resources.
While searching for support, I found that most PTSD communities were either too American-focused, unhelpful, or filled with misinformation. I wanted to create something UK-based, supportive, and solution-focused.
I built my PTSD & Mental Health Support UK community to:
✔️ Offer practical PTSD coping strategies
✔️ Provide a safe space for UK-based mental health discussions
✔️ Connect people with lived experience who truly understand
✔️ Answer real questions that often go ignored
Today, our community is growing, and my mission is simple: to provide the help I once needed.
🚀 Watch my full journey with PTSD & recovery here: YouTube Video
💬 Join my mental health community & connect with others: PTSD & Mental Health Support UK
If you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD, you’re not alone. Let’s heal together. 💙
Understanding Nightmares: Why They Happen and How to Cope
Nightmares are more than just bad dreams—they can be deeply distressing, leaving you shaken, exhausted, and even afraid to sleep.
For those with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) or CPTSD (Complex PTSD), nightmares are often more frequent and intense, replaying traumatic experiences or generating overwhelming feelings of fear and helplessness.
In this blog post, we'll explore why nightmares occur, their significance, and most importantly, how to reduce their impact and work toward more restful sleep.
Why Do We Have Nightmares?
Nightmares occur during the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) stage of sleep and are believed to be part of the brain’s process of consolidating memories, emotions, and experiences. While occasional nightmares are normal, recurring distressing dreams are often linked to stress, anxiety, trauma, or underlying mental health conditions like PTSD and CPTSD.
For individuals with PTSD/CPTSD, nightmares may:
• Re-enact traumatic events in vivid detail
• Feature intense emotions such as fear, guilt, or anger
• Disrupt sleep cycles, leading to chronic exhaustion
• Cause sleep avoidance, increasing anxiety and worsening overall health
Example: One individual shared how they frequently dreamt of the moment they were in a car accident, feeling the impact and hearing the crash repeatedly. It left them waking up in a panic, drenched in sweat, unable to get back to sleep.
What Do Nightmares Mean?
Nightmares are the mind’s way of processing unresolved emotions, but for those with trauma histories, they can be particularly distressing.
They may represent:
• Intrusive memories resurfacing in symbolic or literal ways
• Unprocessed emotions that the brain is trying to make sense of
• Hypervigilance carrying over from waking life into sleep
Example: A survivor of childhood abuse described how their nightmares didn’t replay exact memories, but instead placed them in unfamiliar, terrifying situations where they felt powerless—mirroring how they had felt growing up.
Rather than viewing nightmares as meaningless terror, they can sometimes serve as clues to what areas of trauma need further healing.
How to Cope with PTSD/CPTSD Nightmares:
If nightmares are affecting your well-being, there are strategies that can help lessen their impact:
1. Grounding Techniques Upon Waking
• Remind yourself that you are safe.
• Take deep, slow breaths to calm your nervous system.
• Engage your senses: touch a textured object, sip water, or listen to calming sounds.
Example: One person found that keeping a small scented candle near their bed helped them ground themselves when they woke up. The familiar scent helped remind them they were in the present and not back in the traumatic event.
2. Nightmare Re-Scripting (Imagery Rehearsal Therapy - IRT)
• Write down your recurring nightmare.
• Modify the ending or change the sequence to create a less distressing outcome.
• Visualize the new version before bed to help retrain your brain.
Example: Someone who had repeated nightmares of being chased by an attacker rewrote their dream so that they found a door leading to safety. Over time, the nightmare became less intense.
3. Improving Sleep Hygiene
• Stick to a consistent sleep schedule.
• Avoid stimulants like caffeine and screens before bed.
• Create a relaxing bedtime routine (meditation, journaling, reading a calming book).
• Keep your sleep environment comfortable and free of disturbances.
Example: A person struggling with PTSD-related nightmares started journaling before bed, writing down their worries and intentionally ending on a positive note. Over time, this helped reduce the intensity of their nightmares.
4. Addressing Underlying Trauma
• Consider therapy (CBT, EMDR, or trauma-informed approaches).
• Join a support group for PTSD/CPTSD.
• Work on stress management techniques during the day to reduce night-time disturbances.
How to Reduce the Frequency of Nightmares
While there is no fool-proof way to eliminate nightmares, certain lifestyle changes can help minimize their occurrence:
1. Reduce Daily Stress
• Practice mindfulness or meditation.
• Engage in gentle physical activity like yoga or walking.
2. Address Sleep Disorders
• If sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, or other issues are affecting your sleep, consult a doctor.
3. Consider Professional Help for Severe Nightmares
• Some medications may help regulate sleep patterns.
• Therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) have been effective in reducing PTSD-related nightmares.
Example: One veteran who had relentless combat-related nightmares found that practicing deep breathing techniques before bed, combined with trauma therapy, significantly reduced their nightmares over time.
Final Thoughts
Nightmares, especially those linked to PTSD and CPTSD, can be incredibly distressing, but they don’t have to control your nights—or your life. By understanding their root causes, practicing coping techniques, and seeking support, you can work toward reducing their impact and reclaiming your rest.
If nightmares are significantly affecting your daily life, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for tailored support. If you'd like a copy of my full, 50 page deep dive into nightmares and night terrors, full of insights and proven strategies, you can claim yours here: www.ptsdandmentalhealthuk.org/nightmares (It will only be free for a limited period, after that it will be a paid product)
Have you struggled with PTSD nightmares? What strategies have helped you the most? Share your thoughts in the Facebook communities.
By Lee Neale
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